Jury Duty - Day 1
My human and I have been summoned for jury duty. I’m pleased and humbled, and just thrilled with the prospect of serving. As you know Border Collies have a great sense of duty and a work ethic second to no man or beast.
We appeared Wednesday morning, and had
to pass through a metal detector. The sheriffs at the door normally wouldn’t
let a dog into the building, but they could tell at once what a noble animal I
am; so they let me in, no questions asked.
I must state for the record that I
understand their “no dogs in the courthouse” policy. Can you imagine the
trouble Astro would cause if he were ever allowed inside? He’d chew up
everything from the attorney’s briefs to the briefs that the defendants were
wearing. And he’d probably bark and slobber all over everyone’s faces.
As for Buddy, he’d just lift his leg and pee on the judge.
We Enter the Courtroom
They chose seventy of us
at random as a pool of prospective jurors, and we were sent upstairs to
Courtroom 2. I hoped and prayed that they would choose my human and me to serve
on the jury. My human, I regret to say, was hoping to get out of it.
The courtroom was
modeled after the set in the “Perry Mason” shows, except that our courtroom had
more comfortable seats. Unfortunately, I, being a dog, had to lie on the floor.
I told the judge that
I could save everyone a whole lot of trouble. I could tell her if the defendant
was guilty or innocent just by smelling his butt. The judge said that’s not the way
our court system works. Humans are sometimes very stubborn and backward.
Anyway, they began the
jury selection process called “voire dire” which is a fancy shmancy term for
all talk and no liver snacks. They interviewed the first eighteen prospective
jurors. The judge politely thanked and excused some of them and she said that
being excused was no reflection on their character. Still, I’d be devastated if
they excused me.
My human was the fifty
second person interviewed. She forgot to mention that she was a writer.
Fortunately I was there, and told everyone about “Temporary Address”. The judge
said she’d read it after the trial. She was a very honest person, and wouldn’t
lie about a thing like that, even to be polite.
Day 2 - Many Are Called But Few Are Chosen
My human and I got chosen to serve on the jury. My doggie heart beat with the highest sense of duty and pride as I raised my right paw and barked my promise to uphold the law and the highest standards of conduct.
Besides the judge and us jurors, there was a clerk, a court reporter, and two bailiffs who also had a good work ethic, much like a Border Collie. But they don't enter into my story. There were also three other humans in the courtroom.
The district attorney's name was Lester, but I think of him as peanut breath. He'd be good at playing "fetch" because he was always bringing things into the courtroom.
The defense lawyer, Jerome, was a little old guy with a runny nose. He wore a bow tie and suspenders, and he smelled like Ben Gay. I'll bet he feeds dogs under the table. (Ha Ha!)
The guy on trial, Rudy, looked like he'd eaten a doggy worming pill (yuck). I wasn't allowed to smell his butt.
The D.A. said that Rudy had gone for a ride in a car. I can understand that. Going for a ride is one of my favorite things to do. Unfortunately, Rudy had gone for a ride in someone else's car. In fact, Rudy had gone for rides in several other people's cars.
Jerome, Rudy's lawyer, explained that it was all a misunderstanding. Rudy had thought he was borrowing the cars, and not stealing them.
I could understand that too. I have had several similar misunderstandings. There was the ham that my human had left on the counter which I could have sworn she meant for me. And there were several garbage incidents, which were not my fault.
I left the courthouse eager for the next day when Lester would begin calling witnesses. And I was drooling, just thinking about the ham bone.
Molly signing off with a patriotic salute.
Day 3 - Hearing the Evidence
Hello, Molly the Border Collie here, reporting from the courthouse.
The D.A. called his first witness, George, who had wanted to go for a ride in his car. I think he needed to buy treats for his dog, but he didn't actually say that. Anyway, his car was gone - stolen!!!!!
Later, a police officer found the car with Rudy in it. He asked George if he had given Rudy permission to take his car, and George said, "no." The plot thickens - Rudy had special sticks in his pocket for breaking into other people's cars.
Then Alice McGuilecudy took the stand. She was getting ready to go to work, (which is a waste of time, if you ask me), and her car wasn't there. Another officer found Rudy taking a back pack and a car stereo out of Alice's car.
There were seven more witnesses including four police officers. the stories were all the same. Rudy was found in stolen cars with sticks for car-stealing in his pocket. It looked bad for good ol' Rudy.
Then Jerome, the defense lawyer called Rudy to the stand. Rudy explained that it was all a mistake. Rudy thought he was borrowing the cars from his friends. And he only took the stereo out of Alice's car because it was dirty, and he wanted to polish it up.
The next witness was Officer Kevin Hansen. From the moment he entered the courtroom, my keen nose detected an elite air about him, a sense of something noble, heroic even. I pricked up my ears in anticipation waiting for him to be sworn it.
Be still, my doggie heart! I hadn't dared to hope as much, but yes, the man was a dog handler! he worked with the K-9 Corp, an elite group of animals sworn to protect and to serve us. I look up to those dogs. They are my heroes.
You won't believe what happened next. Just wait till you read tomorrow's report.
Mollie AFK (away from keyboard.)
Day 4 - Some Courtroom Drama
Hey, Ho! It's Molly here reporting again from the courthouse.
Today, Officer Hansen took the witness stand again, and, being a dog, I was very interested in his testimony. Officer Hansen works with Caesar, a five-year-old German Shepherd, and it was Caesar who had apprehended the suspect, Rudy.
I couldn't help it. I whined and I was straining at the leash as Officer Hansen described Caesar's actions on the morning of April 26th that led to the arrest of Rudy the car borrower.
It gets better! The District Attorney asked that Caesar appear in court to testify. I felt like saluting as Caesar took the stand. In true form, Caesar raised his right paw and barked his sworn oath.
They did a courtroom demonstration of the arrest. Caesar stood ready, his ears cocked forward waiting for the signal from Officer Hansen. They brought in a police officer dressed in padding who was supposed to look like the perpetrator. (Perpretrator means very, very bad dog in human speak.)
On command, Caesaar lunged at the "perp", grabbing his right foremarm in his massive jaw. They struggled for a few minutes. It looked as if Caesar haed subdued the human, and then all of a sudden he slipped out of Caesar's grasp. We all held our breath. What would Caesar do next?
Then the "perp" did something really sneaky. He pulled a sausage out of his pocket and threw it across the room, He smiled and told Caesar, "go get it, doggy!"
Caesar didn't even flinch. he grabbed the human by the arm and held on until Officer Hansen slapped his handcuffs on the "perp" and led him away. I feel so much safer knowing brave dogs like Caesar are patrolling our streets.
A Snapshot of Caesar on Patrol
I think I'm falling in love with Caesar. You may call it puppy love, a crush, infatuation, hero worship. But I can see a real future with Caesar - a litter of puppies, a vacation home in dog park.
This is Molly, signing off with a sigh.
Day 5 - Jury Duty, Molly's Wrap-Up
We found Rudy guilty of going for a ride in other people's cars without their permission. He has to go to jail, which is like the pound, only not as bad.
During a break, Caesar and I got some time alone together. Caesar said that he could easily fall for a girl like me, but he was married to his job. He gazed into my eyes thoughtfully. A police dog and a Border Colllie - we come from two different worlds; it probably wouldn't have worked out.
He licked my nose and walked away. "Here's lookin' at you, kid," he said. Then he was gone. I'll never forget that moment as long as I live.
My jury service is over, and I hold my head up higher now. I was part of the humans' justice system, and I performed well, upholding the proud reputation of the Border Collie.
I'll try to get my human to quit playing solitaire and give you her account of our jury service. Meanwhile, if you liked my story, please tell your friends about me.
With a proud salute to you all,
This is Molly, signing off.
Jury Duty - Elaine's Version
This is Molly's human, Elaine, setting the record straight about jury duty.
I like to write as Molly because she is much cuter than I am.The real Molly thinks blogging and computers are a wase of time that could be put to better use - like taking her for a walk. She is probably part Border Collie, and has the collie work ethic.
Yes, I had jury duty, and no, Molly did not get to come with me. I was an alternate juror, and didn't get to vote on the verdict. I know that the jury found him guilty, and I don't know what sentence the judge handed down.
Parking was a pain. Other than that, jury duty wasn't bad.
Caesar was a figment of my imagination. Two of the officers who testified work with police dogs, and that's what gave me the idea of having Caesar take the stand.
I hope you liked my story.
"Temporary Address" the Kindle Cover
Now here comes a shameless sales pitch. "Temporary Address" is a serious work. Please check it out. You can read it by clicking the photos on the right. Buy the Kindle version from Amazon.com. or a paperback or e-book on Lulu.com. (click the "Lulu) button on my blog. Barnes & Noble also carries the e-book.
If you like any of my writing, please tell your friends.
As Molly would say, licks and tail wags to you all,
Elaine Glimme
Day 2 - Many Are Called But Few Are Chosen
My human and I got chosen to serve on the jury. My doggie heart beat with the highest sense of duty and pride as I raised my right paw and barked my promise to uphold the law and the highest standards of conduct.
Besides the judge and us jurors, there was a clerk, a court reporter, and two bailiffs who also had a good work ethic, much like a Border Collie. But they don't enter into my story. There were also three other humans in the courtroom.
The district attorney's name was Lester, but I think of him as peanut breath. He'd be good at playing "fetch" because he was always bringing things into the courtroom.
The defense lawyer, Jerome, was a little old guy with a runny nose. He wore a bow tie and suspenders, and he smelled like Ben Gay. I'll bet he feeds dogs under the table. (Ha Ha!)
The guy on trial, Rudy, looked like he'd eaten a doggy worming pill (yuck). I wasn't allowed to smell his butt.
The D.A. said that Rudy had gone for a ride in a car. I can understand that. Going for a ride is one of my favorite things to do. Unfortunately, Rudy had gone for a ride in someone else's car. In fact, Rudy had gone for rides in several other people's cars.
Jerome, Rudy's lawyer, explained that it was all a misunderstanding. Rudy had thought he was borrowing the cars, and not stealing them.
I could understand that too. I have had several similar misunderstandings. There was the ham that my human had left on the counter which I could have sworn she meant for me. And there were several garbage incidents, which were not my fault.
I left the courthouse eager for the next day when Lester would begin calling witnesses. And I was drooling, just thinking about the ham bone.
Molly signing off with a patriotic salute.
Day 3 - Hearing the Evidence
Hello, Molly the Border Collie here, reporting from the courthouse.
The D.A. called his first witness, George, who had wanted to go for a ride in his car. I think he needed to buy treats for his dog, but he didn't actually say that. Anyway, his car was gone - stolen!!!!!
Later, a police officer found the car with Rudy in it. He asked George if he had given Rudy permission to take his car, and George said, "no." The plot thickens - Rudy had special sticks in his pocket for breaking into other people's cars.
Then Alice McGuilecudy took the stand. She was getting ready to go to work, (which is a waste of time, if you ask me), and her car wasn't there. Another officer found Rudy taking a back pack and a car stereo out of Alice's car.
There were seven more witnesses including four police officers. the stories were all the same. Rudy was found in stolen cars with sticks for car-stealing in his pocket. It looked bad for good ol' Rudy.
Then Jerome, the defense lawyer called Rudy to the stand. Rudy explained that it was all a mistake. Rudy thought he was borrowing the cars from his friends. And he only took the stereo out of Alice's car because it was dirty, and he wanted to polish it up.
The next witness was Officer Kevin Hansen. From the moment he entered the courtroom, my keen nose detected an elite air about him, a sense of something noble, heroic even. I pricked up my ears in anticipation waiting for him to be sworn it.
Be still, my doggie heart! I hadn't dared to hope as much, but yes, the man was a dog handler! he worked with the K-9 Corp, an elite group of animals sworn to protect and to serve us. I look up to those dogs. They are my heroes.
You won't believe what happened next. Just wait till you read tomorrow's report.
Mollie AFK (away from keyboard.)
Day 4 - Some Courtroom Drama
Hey, Ho! It's Molly here reporting again from the courthouse.
Today, Officer Hansen took the witness stand again, and, being a dog, I was very interested in his testimony. Officer Hansen works with Caesar, a five-year-old German Shepherd, and it was Caesar who had apprehended the suspect, Rudy.
I couldn't help it. I whined and I was straining at the leash as Officer Hansen described Caesar's actions on the morning of April 26th that led to the arrest of Rudy the car borrower.
It gets better! The District Attorney asked that Caesar appear in court to testify. I felt like saluting as Caesar took the stand. In true form, Caesar raised his right paw and barked his sworn oath.
They did a courtroom demonstration of the arrest. Caesar stood ready, his ears cocked forward waiting for the signal from Officer Hansen. They brought in a police officer dressed in padding who was supposed to look like the perpetrator. (Perpretrator means very, very bad dog in human speak.)
On command, Caesaar lunged at the "perp", grabbing his right foremarm in his massive jaw. They struggled for a few minutes. It looked as if Caesar haed subdued the human, and then all of a sudden he slipped out of Caesar's grasp. We all held our breath. What would Caesar do next?
Then the "perp" did something really sneaky. He pulled a sausage out of his pocket and threw it across the room, He smiled and told Caesar, "go get it, doggy!"
Caesar didn't even flinch. he grabbed the human by the arm and held on until Officer Hansen slapped his handcuffs on the "perp" and led him away. I feel so much safer knowing brave dogs like Caesar are patrolling our streets.
A Snapshot of Caesar on Patrol
I think I'm falling in love with Caesar. You may call it puppy love, a crush, infatuation, hero worship. But I can see a real future with Caesar - a litter of puppies, a vacation home in dog park.
This is Molly, signing off with a sigh.
Day 5 - Jury Duty, Molly's Wrap-Up
We found Rudy guilty of going for a ride in other people's cars without their permission. He has to go to jail, which is like the pound, only not as bad.
During a break, Caesar and I got some time alone together. Caesar said that he could easily fall for a girl like me, but he was married to his job. He gazed into my eyes thoughtfully. A police dog and a Border Colllie - we come from two different worlds; it probably wouldn't have worked out.
He licked my nose and walked away. "Here's lookin' at you, kid," he said. Then he was gone. I'll never forget that moment as long as I live.
My jury service is over, and I hold my head up higher now. I was part of the humans' justice system, and I performed well, upholding the proud reputation of the Border Collie.
I'll try to get my human to quit playing solitaire and give you her account of our jury service. Meanwhile, if you liked my story, please tell your friends about me.
With a proud salute to you all,
This is Molly, signing off.
Jury Duty - Elaine's Version
This is Molly's human, Elaine, setting the record straight about jury duty.
I like to write as Molly because she is much cuter than I am.The real Molly thinks blogging and computers are a wase of time that could be put to better use - like taking her for a walk. She is probably part Border Collie, and has the collie work ethic.
Yes, I had jury duty, and no, Molly did not get to come with me. I was an alternate juror, and didn't get to vote on the verdict. I know that the jury found him guilty, and I don't know what sentence the judge handed down.
Parking was a pain. Other than that, jury duty wasn't bad.
Caesar was a figment of my imagination. Two of the officers who testified work with police dogs, and that's what gave me the idea of having Caesar take the stand.
I hope you liked my story.
"Temporary Address" the Kindle Cover
Now here comes a shameless sales pitch. "Temporary Address" is a serious work. Please check it out. You can read it by clicking the photos on the right. Buy the Kindle version from Amazon.com. or a paperback or e-book on Lulu.com. (click the "Lulu) button on my blog. Barnes & Noble also carries the e-book.
If you like any of my writing, please tell your friends.
As Molly would say, licks and tail wags to you all,
Elaine Glimme
