Temporary Address

Temporary Address

Monday, June 22, 2015

Ask Molly

This "Dear Molly" question comes from a Zinnie, a Rottweiler from Tulsa, Oklahoma. She writes:



Dear Molly,

I attend dog obedience school and I am learning to understand human. It is challenging, because humans' communication is not as straightforward as ours is. My question is this. Do humans understand canine? A small human girl came up to me stared right into my eyes. How rude!  Did she even know what she was telling me?

Thanks for your reply,

Zinnie


Dear Zinnie,

Thank you for your excellent letter.

Some humans understand canine; some do not. I'm sure the young human you spoke of meant no disrespect, but OMG! I'm so glad that  you exercised restraint.

Humans! Never stare into the eyes of a dog who doesn't know you very well. And don't put your face close to the face of a dog who doesn't know you. It is so rude! I can't even tell you what it means. I can't bring myself to use such language. But the correct canine reply to such an attack is a snap in the face.   So please humans, I repeat - do not stare into a dog's eyes or put your face near a dog's face. The nose you save could be your own.

Love,

Molly


Monday, June 15, 2015

Ask Molly



Today's Ask Molly :


On behalf of squirrels, gophers, voles, and chipmunks everywhere, I have to ask this. What do you have against us? We're furry. we're cute. We're entertaining. Why do you chase and torment us? Huh? Why?

Just call me Sydney.


You SQRLS sit up in your trees and chatter trash talk at us. What do you expect us to do? We're only canine.You say you're cute and furry and innocent. Hah! I say. Innocent?

I believe this photo says it all.





Photo  Alan Levine
 Gopher in the wild 
  Creative Commons 2.0



Yours,

Molly

Saturday, June 13, 2015

The Real Molly

Hi,

I'm Elaine, the human behind "The Molly Chronicles." The real Molly has a personality very much like Molly the writer. She's the smartest dog I've ever owned, and she's opinionated. She does insist that we take our walk each day. (I'm fine with that. If it weren't for our walk, I'd probably weigh 300 lbs.) We have had issues about who is the alpha - lead dog, and we've decided I'm it.

Molly was a pound dog - the saddest one in the pound. She looked smaller, curled up into a tight ball hardly moving. I was lucky enough to be the first human there on her first adoption day, and we've been family ever since.

 I don't know if she's really a Border Collie, but I know she has sheep-herding instincts. Once, on a walk, (It was an off-leash area.) I was talking to a family, who then walked on ahead of me. I watched Molly run up to the family, circle them, come back to me, and repeat the process. She was herding them.

I've loved all my dogs, but Molly is more bonded to me than any of my others have been.

The stories in "The Molly Chronicles" are fiction, of course, but there's some piece of truth behind each one of them.

Good wishes to all,

Elaine

Monday, June 8, 2015

Ask Molly



Greetings from me, Molly,

Today's "Ask Molly" letter comes  from  Antioch, California. Carlos Garcia asks:







What are your feelings about the leash law?

Thanks in advance for your speedy reply. My human and I have differing oppions on the subject, and we'll be going for a walk in forty-five minutes.

Sincerely,

Carlos




I am vehemently opposed to leashes. They prevent dogs from chasing things, running into the road, and eating assorted delicacies (garbage, dead animals, etc.) that we find on our walks.  I have tried to explain this to my human, but she steadfastly refuses to understand my position. Humans can be very stubborn.

Regards,

Molly 


Human's note: The opinions stated by my overachieving collie do not necessarily reflect those of her human/owner. Many unpleasant "incidents" have been prevented by a leash. 

Elaine

Monday, June 1, 2015

Ask Molly



Molly,

Have you ever chased cats? I'm not allowed to.

Sassy Lassie,

Fort Worth, Texas



I can't tell you about that.

Molly

 

Monday, May 25, 2015

Ask Molly



Today's question comes from Bill Smyth from London England,


Dear Molly,
I was particularly interested in your account of serving on jury duty. Good show, old girl, I must say. Have you and your human served on a jury since then?

Yours fondly,
Bill Smyth

Dear Bill,

Thank you for your kind praise. As you pointed out, my human and I served on a jury during the trial of Rudy the Car Borrower, and I performed admirably.
Today, I hang my head in shame.We were indeed called to jury duty, and I looked forward to serving my country. I am ashamed to say that my human and I were excused from jury service, but that 's not the worst part. Do you know why we were excused? My human fell asleep in the courtroom. Oh, the humiliation!!!!

Molly signing off and slinking out of sight.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Ask Molly

 Molly Glimme
   

Greeting dogs,  humans and other creatures. Today's letter comes from  Elizabeth Packsley from New York City. She writes:

Dear Molly,

I heard that you had a book signing last Saturday. How did it go? And where can I get a copy of "The Molly Chronicles?' I couldn't come to your book signing because I live too far away.

Love, Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

You can buy "The Molly Chronicles" on Amazon. Here is the link:   "The Molly Chronicles"

The book signing was awesome, as you humans would say. I got lots of pets and liver snacks, and we signed my books with personal messages to the nice humans. The book signing was part of the Noah's Ark Festival at Christ the Lord Church in Pinole. They had many interesting smells there including rabbits, chinchillas, hawks, and chickens, which I was not allowed to taste. (All chickens are stupid.)
And one of my readers, Jordan, who is a very kind and helpful girl, gave me some liver snacks and a lot of pets.

Love, Molly